Oh Father, Who Art Serving Half-Price Pitchers Between 3 PM and Eternity

God, as of last Friday night:

As I was driving home today, I saw a white van with a bumper sticker that read, "When the last trumpet sounds, I'm outta here!"

I find that depressing. Since when did people start having the same attitude about life that most of us have about a bad day at work? Gee, I can't wait until this is over so I can go home? You realize you're not talking about getting in the Ford Explorer and driving to the 'burbs here, folks, you're talking about dying, right?

And what does that say about heaven? Is it some sort of eternal happy hour except all the drinks are Shirley Temples, and you can eat all the nachos and cocktail weenies you want and not get fat?

It is exactly this attitude toward life that makes me want to say to those banging on about religion and "finding" Jesus as though they'd misplaced him somewhere: "Yahweh ain't necessarily mahweh."