Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Open Letter to Michael Vick

You don't just deserve suspension from the NFL. You don't just deserve jail time in the decades and fees in the 7 digits. You deserve a baseball bat to the side of the head. Repeatedly.

I'm not ordinarily an advocate of violence, but your behavior puts you right at the top of my People Who Desperately Need Six Kinds of Shit Kicked Out of Them, momentarily displacing Dick Cheney, which is a feat.

I sincerely hope that your professional life is over and that one day I see snaking pickles out of my toilet. I've got a bathtub and a toaster with your name on them.


Ash said...

Amen - what an ASS! WTF is wrong with people? Just because we have thumbs it's ok to torture and kill animals that don’t? I'll push him into the tub and you can throw the toaster! I imagine he's big so it might take two of us.

The golden rule comes to mind. If we apply it in this situation that means that we can have Michael Vick mauled nearly to death by a dog, then electrocuted and hung.

Tony Easton said...

Before you throw him in the tub with the toaster, I'd just like to fuck him in the ass a la a scene from the film Seven.

Ash said...

Check this out!