Monday, April 02, 2007

A-Job Hunting We Will Go!

I feel like I've been job hunting with Dick Cheney -- there I am, rummaging around in the bushes, trying to scare out a decent career with future prospects that doesn't involve speaking. . . . really . . . . slowly, and suddenly I've got a faceful of buckshot.

Job hunting sucks. I particularly like one place that I've applied to three times, where, when I go back to check my "status," there's this list of NO MATCH NO MATCH NO MATCH. Always a pleasure. Why don't they just say, "Status: BIG FAT LOSER WE POSTED YOUR RESUME IN THE LUNCHROOM SO EVERYONE COULD HAVE A GOOD GIGGLE." Hey, if I wanted this kind of impersonal rejection, I'd try to publish my book again.

Actually, it's been interesting. I haven't done any for-serious job hunting in quite a while, and I'm finding the process intriguing if teeth-grindingly, stomach-churningly, blood-pressure-raisingly frustrating. I even practiced interview questions with BF Toasty who's a hell of a lot better at answering the questions than I am. I considered doing some sort of Cyrano-type thing, stashing Toasty under the conference table for all interviews and letting him answer the questions while I lip-sync and smile, but then I remembered that the guy who had Cyrano talk for him got married, got shot and got dead, and frankly I just couldn't handle the potential parallels.

So: in short, 30+ resumes sent out like soldiers in a war, never to be seen again. Three interviews, one solid job offer that would be a great job if only I liked government-issue free cheese. *sigh*

Still, it was fun watching my Mom try to make sense of the statement, "This morning I posted on Monster."



NuclearToast said... what can only be described as... THE FACE!

DK said...

networking is the best way to go... what kind of job are you looking for?

Ash said...

Poor DICK Cheney, you shoot one old man in the face on a drunken hunting trip and no one will ever let you live it down! ;)

Aggghhhhh! Interview questions. I have found that if you don't know how to answer something using humor is helpful. I figure if they don't like my sense of humor then I don't want to work for those bastards anyway! Ha!

Raggedy Angst said...

Writing, editing, training -- those are the things I think I'm actually qualified to do. Unfortunately, I have yet to discover what potential employers think I'm qualified to do!

Raggedy Angst said...

And seriously, Ash, who wouldn't find your sense of humor totally charming?